Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
