i don't like sucking hair
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
