you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
