Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
