All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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