I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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