can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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