New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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