She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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