God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize