i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
