Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
