I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
