Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
