just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
