dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
what day is it and did you see me today?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
This is the high leading the old right now
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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