That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
