Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize