I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize