I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Boobs speak an international language.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
MIDGETS
????
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
