gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
