Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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