my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize