His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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