blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
foreskin is a definite game changer
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
