wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
