morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
