mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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