You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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