if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
