walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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