I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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