Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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