if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
