I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize