Don't you send me to vm
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
