I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize