sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
