So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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