that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
