I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
