His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
