ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize