The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
