I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Randomize
