she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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