The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
This is the high leading the old right now
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
