Having a random hookup so left but love u
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
