I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
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