bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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