Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i just made my gag reflex go away.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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