Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
