Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I think a kid would responsible me up
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
