i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
