She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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