things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
