We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
